


The Lines Between

by livefree_13



Series: Souyowrimo 2018 [6]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Headaches & Migraines, M/M, Mild Angst, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 13:02:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17725685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livefree_13/pseuds/livefree_13
Summary: Usually, when he dreamed of imperative things, he woke up in the Velvet Room. He was guided, usually, by a kind and beautiful woman and the chilling, hunched figure of an old man whose voice he’d never forget. But he was greeted by neither of the two, nor the blue folds of the luxurious room.





	The Lines Between

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 11/19: Personas
> 
> (Yu has a strange dream that causes him to take action)
> 
> *** This will eventually get spicy, but the first 2 chapters are pure fluff.***

“What is it?” Yu asked, to whom he wasn’t sure. His voice was stuffed by the dense fog surrounding him, almost as if he were speaking directly into a pillow. And he might have been - if not for the distinct sensation of a draft around his collar.

He didn’t hear an answer, so he asked again, to the same invisible, mysterious presence that had pulled him to this place in the middle of a dream. “Why am I here?”

He tried to gauge his surroundings - standing on feet, naked feet, cold, ankles dusted by pajama bottoms, shirt on back, and otherwise cloaked in a featureless fog on a hard, black floor. The milky clouds brushed his skin, accentuating the bronze tan he’d earned from his Inaba summer beach trips weeks ago, that he thought he’d lost now back in Tokyo.

No one revealed themselves, and Yu felt the twinges of annoyance edge their way in. “Show yourself,” he commanded.

Usually, when he dreamed of imperative things, he woke up in the Velvet Room. He was guided, usually, by a kind and beautiful woman and the chilling, hunched figure of an old man whose voice he’d never forget. But he was greeted by neither of the two, nor the blue folds of the luxurious room.

“Izanagi!” he shouted, more as an act of desperation than a real attempt to summon him.

But he didn’t come.

“Izanagi!” he tried again, this time with feeling, with his hand in its usual card-shattering position. He’d been able to summon him in his dreams before, when he tried, at least.

But he still didn’t come.

“Izanagi!” he tried a third time, focusing all his concentration on Izanagi’s form and recalling his familiar, comforting presence that always hovered above his shoulders.

He didn’t come.

Before his brain could switch to panic, a deep rumble beneath his heels shook the ground. Yu just about lost his balance from the surprise alone. His knees trembled and his cold feet tripped over the smooth glass-like surface of the floor; his shout was swallowed by the fog. Amidst the frightening feeling of the earth moving beneath him, he could hear a thunderous, guttural roar that bellowed above the sound of the earthquake. It was, distinctly, _some_ kind of voice, although its words were impossible to decipher until Yu gained his bearings and concentrated.

As Yu listened, he realized the reason he couldn’t understand them was because the voice wasn’t speaking a language he recognized. Or even . . . _truly_ speaking. It was more a series of sounds - pulses - made with the fragment of a human voice and yet too inorganic to be considered one. The sound rapped at his heartbeat, as if born from it, as if it were coming from _within_ him instead of this stuffy fog-filled space.

When the “voice” pounded through his chest and into his ears, filling them with a second set of low vibrations that made his head buzz, that’s when Yu understood - and looked up from watching the sweat drip off his own forehead onto the floor to see the figure of his first persona, hovering ominously in the fog above him.  

Even as fear took him, he stared bravely into his own persona’s eyes. Izanagi had never presented himself to Yu in such a way - menacing and impassive - and Yu found the sense somewhere amidst the familiar comfort to be rightfully wary.

“What is it?” he chanced, his voice cracking at the end.

With the commanding way Izanagi stared him down, Yu could easily feel how soft and imploring his own gaze must appear to his persona. He felt ashamed by it, but still defenseless. He’d never faced off against his own persona before.

Then, without prompt, a memory of this afternoon suddenly flashed through Yu’s mind.

> _Walking home from school in the late summer afternoon. He checks his phone, types a few words, sighs, and puts it away. The sun is hot and punishing and won’t allow him to think, or so he tells himself._

Yu shook his head in order to see with his eyes. “What . . .” he shook his head again and blinked, blearily, up at the figure of his persona. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Izanagi quickly pulled the same trick and Yu slapped his hands over his ears as a dull whine began to ride alongside the constant thrum in his skull. He was then shown another vision from this afternoon, this one just as vague.

> _Holding his phone over the dish he prepared for himself, he snaps a picture, loads it into his text string with Yosuke, and promptly snaps his phone shut before he can send it. His dinner will get cold if he gets caught up in a chat over text, or so he tells himself._

Yu dropped to one knee and released himself from the odd vision with another shake of his head. “Why are you showing this to me?!” he demands. It made no sense. Just seemingly random moments throughout his ordinary day in Tokyo.

A sharp pain shot into his eyes and he let out a grunt as his palms flew instinctively to press tightly over them.

Okay, maybe there was more to it than that, he ventured. He wouldn’t outright deny that the two moments had a connection, however unremarkable. Both of them had to do with Yosuke, for one. Not a huge surprise, since he thought about his friend every single day . . . multiple times a day. Because he loved him. Because he was _in love_ with him.

But he’d never denied that. So, what was this all about?

Yu was left to consider the other similarity presented in the two moments Izanagi had chosen - both times, he’d failed to reach out to him, even though he’d wanted to. Even though both times he’d been so lonely he wanted to weep, he’d put his phone away.

Yu panted to catch his breath as the pieces started clicking together. Izanagi wanted him to take action, that was clear, but what a selfish endeavor to drag him out of sleep to face, he thought. Although - Yu looked up again at his persona, its shoulders just as rigid and imposing as ever - personas were manifestations of your own ego, so maybe their endeavors were always innately selfish. But, still this felt-

“Agh-!” Yu howled and fell with both knees to the floor, gasping for breath. Another sharp bolt of pain followed by a wave of nausea overwhelmed him, caused his vision of the dark floor beneath him to spin to the left. “What,” he moaned, tears spilling out of his eyes. “What do you-”

> _He lays in bed thinking of him, cloaked in the darkness of his room. He’d just been here not moments ago, staring at the screen of his cell and yet another one of Yosuke’s texts. Yosuke is asking him how he’s been, since it had been a few days since his last message. Yu worries his bottom lip between his teeth and types out words he doesn’t have the courage to say, and eventually closes his phone. It’s too late for this, and it’s completely inappropriate, and he’s_ **_just not ready_ ** _\- or so he tells himself._

Yu groaned again and sunk to the floor. “Okay, I’ll-” he started to plead - quickly biting his tongue on his next words.

> _He lays in bed, on his side, missing him, realizing he’s never wanted anyone so badly and been at such a loss as to what to do about it. He can’t possibly say anything. He’s just lonely, and Yosuke does not want him that way, and Yu is pitiful to let himself cry about it._

As he remembered, he felt the hole he’d been digging into his own chest for over a year begin to ache. It hurt - much worse than what Izanagi has been doing to him - and it caused him to finally throw in the towel. He was hunched over, finally letting the tears fall without shame or pity, when he felt a strong, cool grip on his shoulder.

Izanagi was still hovering above him, yet he could feel his persona’s hand on him, comforting and reassuring and still insistent. He caught his breath and the pain subsided a little . . . a little more, until he can sit back on his heels and wipe up the mess on his face.

“I need to talk to him,” he finally admitted aloud. And the grip around his shoulder tightened in affirmation. “No matter what he says, I need to get it out. It’s killing me, isn’t it?”

Izanagi, with the most subtle of sounds, confirmed.  

Yu gave a great sigh, a sniff, and looked up tiredly at his persona. There was a light in his yellow eyes that wasn’t there at the start of this - something warm and radiant and distinctly familiar.

“Thanks,” he whispered, and woke up in bed.

 

He sat up in a hurry, breath coming fast in a panic alongside the sounds of his gently ticking wall clock and the soft hum of the air conditioning. He was coated in sweat, even in a shirt this thin. His hair stuck to his forehead and he drug it away from his face. Right. He needed to call Yosuke.

He turned to his bedside table to grab his phone before he had the sense to check the time. It was the middle of the night . . . Yosuke would _not_ appreciate being woken up at a time like this, especially for a non-emergency. His stomach hurt but he decided to put his phone _down_. Izanagi would just have to give him a few more hours. They’ve waited for over a year, after all.

They can wait until dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> oh come on yu i'm sure yosuke would LOVE to hear from you at 3 in the morning, go ahead
> 
> any comments and kudos are much appreciated! (it really makes all the hard work worth it.) you can also find me on [tumblr](http://livefreeordie13.tumblr.com/) where i post smallish, fluff & nsfw shortfics, headcanons, and things. and this is my new [twitter](https://twitter.com/) where i basically do the exact. same. thing.


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